.:: dream ::.

I just woke up from the most wonderfull dream I've ever have..

My friends asked me to go out to watch movie and in the end I realized that it's somekind of date meeting with some guys.. I felt so uneasy during the massive conversation then I look around. I saw somekind like computer exibition close to our meeting venue, so I excuse myself and I said I wanna see the exibition. Then a guy from the group said that he wanted to join me to see the exibition. I thought I'd forget him soon after we're inside the exibition., but then it turned out I dragged him everywhere and went kyaaa...kyaaaa... everytime I saw interesting stuffs just like I use to act when I visit any other computer exibition..
then I saw that there's a game exibition next to the computer exibition. I told him it's okay if he wanna go back to the group. I'm fine with myself just like always. but he said that he also wanna see that game exibition. he wanted to search for Final Fantasy XII dvd game... Final Fantasy XII???? but..but..but... I also wanted to play it ever since my friend showed me the DVD cover of that game. I always love Final Fantasy series.. so we went in the game exibition..

It's amazing to find out that we can talk like we're a friend for a long time.. I mean.. I always feel ackward if I have to get along with a new guy. I always get somekind of suspicious feelings toward them. but this time's different.. Maybe so far we have the same interest in something..

I kinda lost him for a while in the crowd but then he came to me and hand me a regular cup of coffee snow ice.. How did he know that I love that flavor?!?! He just laugh when he saw me confused.
Then we saw somekind of motor race. I don't remember wether it's a real motor race or just a game show though. We end up discussing what kind of motorciclye on that race. One thing I remember's he took all stuff that I've been carrying except my bag so I can eat my snow ice freely.. To be honest.. I.. almost never being treated like that. It's a simple gesture actually.. but I usually carry my stuffs all by myself. Or I unpurposely took my friend or my family member stuffs to carry.. So for me that simple gesture felt so extraordinary... 

The other thing that surprised me's that he knows most of things about me. He knows my favorite foods and drinks. He knows that I'd rather choose to be in front of my computer than going out. He knows that I'm a truly dadicated fans of L'Arc~en~Ciel. He knows that I like Japanese culture so much and my obsession to go there.. He knows that I like cute stuffs a lot better than pretty or glamorous stuffs. And most of all, he knows that all this time I've been trying so hard to stand on my on in everything.. That I try so hard to make my parent proud of me.. That I try to survive with all my differences compared with others around me.. He just simply knows them all.. What is he? A stalker???
When I asked him that he just laugh and told me that he's known me for quite sometime. And he keep watching me ever since the first time he knew me.. He's never reveal himself to me because he's afraid that I'm gonna straightly reject him because I have a very bitter past with a guy. I was totally speechless. but he just smile and walk me again...

All this time I think I won't find someone who really understand me. Even though I used to have a 5 years relationship but still I'm sure that he could accept me as I am who's different with any other girls he knew.. That's why I keep trying to protect myself on my own strength with these 2 small hands of mine even though I have someone by my side, because I know that he wouldn't understand me compelitely that I'm different..
But this guy in my dream gently wrap his hands around me and my silentness and wishper that I don't have to be worry about myself anymore because he'll help to protect myself from anything that make me worry. so even though I only have these small hands, he'll certainly lend his hands to help these smalls hands of mine to protect me... Once again I wonder.. How could he found out about that?? I never told anyone who's not close to me about it...

I woke up and I sighed...
I feel like I've been given a certain dose of poison for my brain when I sleep and waking up's the antidote for that poison..

I wonder wether that guy really exist somewhere. I don't know his name.. I can hardly remember his face as well.. He might appear in my dream because I unconciously wishing that kind of guy really exist for me..

But now I'm compelitely wide awake, I know for sure that guy only exist in my dream...

17:54

.:: Gallery ::.

This is my colaboration with nimue. She did the initial sketches then I done the coloring by Adobe Photoshop CS2. Just click on the eSnips button to view the gallery...

= J-Sanctuary Imperial =

= One Page Parody =

= Character =